She’s a “Self-Talker”



Written by  Tino Hernandez


Affirmation without discipline is the beginning of delusion.

Jim Rohn
February 27, 2017

Do you remember that Seinfeld episode where the lady that Jerry was with was a low-talker?  In other words, she spoke so softly you couldn’t hear or understand anything that she said.  What do people say of your talk?  What do you do with your talk?  Do you talk to yourself?

Self-talk is something that we all do but seldom admit to doing it because we have always been told not to talk to ourselves. “Were you just talking to yourself?” Who me? No way! I’m just trying to memorize some of my favorite lines from the Wizard of Oz. “Toto, I don’t think that we’re not in Kansas anymore!”

Self-Talk, whether we want to admit it or not, is something that we all do and I would bet that more often than not, it’s negative. I can’t do this, I don’t know that, I’m fat, I’m lazy, I’m not smart enough, good enough, strong enough, talented enough, tall enough, and on and on we go.  Why is it that we’re so geared towards negative self-talk? In my opinion, it is because:

1. It rings true. We have attempted something and in the process have had a negative or not desirable outcome. We just couldn’t make it happen. Because of the negative outcome, we begin with the I’m not yadda yadda yadda.
2. Negative Self-Talk is full of emotion. Face it. You failed at something and you’re angry, upset, fearful, sad, or any one of a dozen other emotions. Now you go into stupid me mode and take all of those emotions with you. You have now married those negative emotions to that experience.
3. We are most alive when we experience emotion. Now that you have married such deep, yet negative, emotions to the negative self-talk you’re going to dip your toes into that pool every time you begin to consider action towards your goal. Sure the negative self-talk is defeating us, but at least we are alive and full of emotion when we entertain these thoughts. We’ve been here so many times before it just feels comfortable or at the very least familiar. The result is that we struggle to drop the negative self-talk.

You can see how this can become a self-defeating cycle of negativity and breaking this cycle is no easy task, it is something that we must overcome if we are to achieve our dreams and live a balanced life.

We need to practice positive affirmations and self-talk. I do have value, I am capable, I have had and will continue to have success in my life. You get the idea. One word of advice. This does not work if you’re slumped over and looking depressed. Stand up, smile, raise your hands in the air and speak your affirmations with conviction. At first, you’ll feel like the biggest liar in the world when you do this but after a few tries, it’ll go away.

Remember, emotions are born of experience and in reality, you haven’t achieved anything…yet. But also remember that your brain doesn’t know the difference between reality and emotion filled positive or negative affirmations or self-talk.  This is why the quote from Jim Rohn is so important.  Don’t fool yourself by just being a positive self-talker.  Make sure that you put some action into your words.

Positive self-talk takes faith. It takes a belief in yourself even though you have not crossed the finish line or maybe not even the starting line!  Just don’t stop. I keep telling you to believe in and practice baby steps. This is no different. One little step at a time, one little positive word a day, one little step towards a more positive form of self-talk and people will be saying that you too are a positive self-talker.


Tino Hernandez

Categories: Posts

%d bloggers like this: